I've seen through what seem to be decades
of suffering, and gnawing teeth and restlessness
to grow up, and leave behind the sorrow
of unfulfilled wishes, obligations thrown,
to realize, I am one, I am one of, and above
you, humans, betrayers, forms of self-love,
and it may be that a seed of arrogance
has sprung its head during life's prevalence.
And I've become arrogant of a world
built for the born to, and the vulgar, and the absurd,
where weakness hides, and strength is killed,
and bosoms dried and the smart are shrilled.
Of a world that is low and dark and gay,
a globe filled with muddy toys of clay,
where time and intellect is a fictitious game,
but sex and joyful sorrows are only to blame.
Of a world that's been left alone,
of scenes abandoned, men of no abode,
of sins crucified, and holiness subdued,
of mockery, ridicule, frowns, and the Approved,
Of death and life and blood and tears,
of a thousand clichés inflicting only fear,
of a life built to leave and to never use,
of a garotte, wished upon, but never strewn.
Of you and me, and me only,
of the knowledge to ever remain lonely,
of goodbyes and hellos, of wasted shakes,
of twisted smiles wrapped in crooked pains-
Arrogant of a world that all it ever gets,
believes and tells you that it never ends,
and whatever your omnipotent soul has to give,
is merely mulch, and has never been worth the risk.
And maybe all I'm really sick of
is this arrogance of the life I strive for,
a faint melody, repeated after being forgotten,
a vague, endless, pointless dream ill-gotten-
Maybe I'm just sick of me, old me, being me,
a constant mimic of a thousand-ringed tree,
a recreation of nothing and everything, failing,
winning, altering, staying, dying, and living.
And this arrogance, this sickness of the core,
carries me through, drags me along the whole
mad journey I draw with a random hand,
with a twist of muscle, an unknowing stamp;
a stamp smashed on a ground so sacred
of the blood and bones of fallen hatred
that it stays silent forever, marking me dead,
on a slice of never-known, irrelevant piece of land.
