On Ungranted Destruction

8:32 am

A loud bang in the dead of night; a block, with its many eyes closed save for one, burning. Fueled by memories of hate and love and dreams.

Years have passed. Particles dissembled and reassembled, and that mind, banished willingly from its flesh, found a new route back to this reality. And there he stood again, surrounded by garbage.

'How easy it was when it only took a torched flat to get rid of all the waste. Now it feels like it's too much, like the weight of it all has dented the world. Or just my soul. Who's to tell them apart,' he asked the air.

He looked around him and all he could see was piles of garbage, tossed aside, collected, and then removed here to rot in its morbid colourfulness. As his glance swept across his surroundings, he stopped for a moment to stare at all the food, at that negative of any supermarket to find. Nourishment, half-used, thrown away, growing new little worlds among themselves. Their smell vile though, all he could think about was the words of the big brother, how others of the same species would kill for those leftover family deal-meals. You know, to survive.

The only things that are capable of survival from a human's point of view are the havens of nature. Their trick being regeneration and reappearance completed faster than anybody could notice. Or care to notice.

'Just like that river on the other side, ' he pointed out. The air agreed in silence, being blessed with the ability of total and utter uninterest.

'Just like you.'

The river, sharing the gift of air's lineage, trickled on without a single care for the smelly demise that laid a few feet away its wet banks.

'The river is shallow on most parts, but should you step into it, the cold would numb your toes and the stones would cut your skin wide open. Leeches, they would feast on your life.'

'And should you ever just stroll along the banks, any rock you'd turn around unraveled slimy beasts of living things, creatures so horribly disgusting, you'd want to throw them into the water,' he explained, wandering about slowly among the garbage.

He was looking down, but stumbled still, not really seeing what he stepped on.

'And you know what,' he asked. 'I think Jeff was in love with you.' He just stood there, barely controlling the glee glowing on his face, as if waiting for the air to engage.

'But (or because?) you don't really care about music, do ya?'

* * *

Nightfall found him laying on top of torn sofa parts that were layered in grease and rot.

'How do you know if all of this is real,' he mumbled, arm rising to gesture at the blanketed waste. 'How do I know that all this,' he said as he grabbed and tossed a shard of glass aside. 'And this. All these. How do I know this is not created by my mind, to form and replicate the emotion that is plaguing me? How do I know if that emotion is not caused by someone else's mind's creations? Even my own?'

He placed a hand beneath the back of his head and gazed into the sky, blotted with stolen and dead lights.

'How do I know I'm not just some pull-and-dance toy that gets one emotion at birth and builds a world of the repercussions?'

'Who would play with such a toy?'

He picked up a deflated tyre and called it humiliation before throwing it aside. A wet, torn book got christened Travels, and as it flew away, it dragged a trail of tape behind it over the evening sky, the Trail of Defeat, as he called it. He pushed aside a hairy banana skin. It smelled of living death, of life turned rotten and repulsive by use. As he touched its soft, grey pile, he called it his friend.

The moonlight shone down on him and bathed his home of waste in its ethereal light. He decided that he will turn to ash when the first ray of sunlight shines on him. In fact, nobody knew how it happened, and the few who did, well, they either didn't have mouths to speak or simply didn't care enough to remember. The heap pulsated with every cycle of decomposition, and somewhere along those decades, he became part of it.

If he wasn't already.

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